SHOP THE LOOK
I feel like it’s not just blogging, but every industry under the sun that experiences this.
From when we in primary school, comparing ourselves to the cool girls that had braces (and then BEGGING our parents to take us to the orthodontists just so that we too could get cool pink rubber bands on our train tracks), to the competitive working world, comparison with other women around us is something we can’t help.
Despite our very best intentions, comparison is something we often can’t help. We find ourselves subliminally thinking about their appearances, their relationships, their follower number (whether you’re a blogger or not!), their job, their skills – and often these lead to unhealthy feelings of envy and competitiveness, even when you thought those traits were not even a part of your character. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.
When it comes to the world of blogging, comparison is a vicious thing. We all know, deep down, that what we see online is only a tip of the iceberg and in fact there is a whole other story to that perfect smiling photo (I try to capture the ‘real side’ of those instagram worthy shots in my vlogs!) but even the most ‘real’ vlogs don’t show you the full picture of someone’s life – there are always things we keep to ourselves, the less rosy things, that no one would even have a clue about.
In many occasions, competition can most definitely be positive. When it drives you to put all of your effort into something, or inspires you to be a better version of yourself – but equally, comparison does not have to mean competition.
It makes no sense for us girls to be pitting ourselves against each other. Positivity attracts positivity, so supporting other women and celebrating their successes can make you more successful – not just because it encourages others to do the same for you, but it soon becomes clear that when you emit positivity, positive things happen back for you.
There’s been a lot of negativity in the blogging space lately, with groups of people trying to bring down those around them, and it’s incredibly upsetting to see. Bringing others down in no way helps to raise you up, in fact quite the opposite and so today I wanted to share some thoughts on how to eliminate that envious mindset, and change into a person that celebrates other women.
Help other women’s voices be heard.
Flying from Dallas to NYC on a Virgin America flight, I plugged into the in-flight entertainment and mindlessly switched to a podcast about female empowerment. The advice it gave rang true and could be applied in so many ways. Often; our ideas and opinions aren’t heard as much as they should be, and this is often down to our own self confidence. How often have you spoken up about a topic, only for the conversation to glide over it, or your point be later repeated by someone else, and suddenly everyone thinks it is a great idea?
The podcast suggested that we can support other women by reinforcing their voices with our own. If you see or hear someone doing a great job – speak up about it! Tell them, and tell those around you. Celebrate them in front of other people – surround yourself with their positivity, only good things can happen as a result.
Surround yourself with a great team.
I don’t know about you, but I always find myself downplaying or brushing off my successes. What we need, is a personal cheerleader; or better – a team that will help you unashamedly celebrate how bloody fantastic you are. While your mum is most likely the best person for the job, it’s also a great idea to find a couple of like minded women with similar goals, and have an unspoken agreement to always be there to cheer on each other’s successes. Show off about how hard each other has worked, what they’ve achieved and how proud you are of them. It’s not easy to blow your own trumpet, but when there’s a group of you celebrating each other, it works magically – and you’ll always have someone to celebrate with.
Admire something? Let them know!
Us girls are always hard on ourselves, it’s easy to let small things bring us down on a bad day, or feel totally off kilter for something as small as a pimple (which, by the way, no one else can even notice!) but a kind word or compliment from someone can really turn things around.
Without being fake or forceful, let other women know what you admire about them. It could be a stranger on the tube who has a great perfume or hair colour, or someone who wrote a fantastic article online. Tell them, share it – you’ll feel fantastic for spreading positivity, and it will make their day too. They have a much more positive impact on someone’s day than you could ever imagine, so next time you notice something you admire about another woman, speak up!
It truly baffles me to see women tearing each other down, and especially when it’s done so in a public manner, and yet it saddens me to see this happening more often than I see us supporting each other.
So I hope this post has perhaps changed your mindset, or inspired you to be more positive and celebrate other women; do something each day that makes another woman in your life feel supported and loved. It could be a compliment that previously you’ve only just thought to yourself, or a like on facebook or instagram when they get a new job, or get to work with an amazing brand – even if perhaps you’re a teeny bit jealous. Smile at someone on the tube, tell someone they look great.
Without doubt, the kindness will make its way back to you!
I’d love to know how celebrating other women has made you more successful? Let me know in the comments below!
What I’m Wearing
Jeans by Coast
Top by Coast
Jacket by Coast
Boots by River Island
Sunglasses by Olly Quinn
Bag by Saint Laurent
Necklace by Claire’s
Bracelets by Monica Vinader